Dealing with angry people is a challenge.
Types of anger
Anger has many faces:
1. Passive-aggressive anger
This type of anger is one of the most common in social situations, especially in workplaces. People who have this type of anger do not directly express their feeling. Instead, they tend to hide it and use sarcastic words or deliberate act of neglect as a way of expressing their anger. Other people around them may have no idea that they are angry.
2. Paranoid anger
People with paranoid anger feel or believe that someone will hurt them. As a result, they feel angry at others.
3. Sudden anger
As its name implies, sudden anger happens so quickly. But like other natures of anger, it can leave a considerable amount of destruction. The common cause of this anger is the loss of emotional control.
4. Shame-based anger
This type of anger mostly happens among sensitive people. Criticisms challenge their self-worth. As a result, they feel bad about it that may lead to physical attack even to their loved ones.
5. Planned anger
This type of anger is deliberate. Thus, no one knows that a person is angry. Deliberate anger is mostly observed among bullies. They tend to do it because they want to threaten and impose power over others.
6. Additive anger
Some people are addicted to anger. They have fun feeling it. They tend to find fights.
7. Habitual anger
Some people are habitually angry. It becomes part of their daily behavioral tendencies. They easily get angered even without reason.
8. Moral anger
This type of anger makes people angry when they see others not following social norms. They tend to believe that they are entitled to such emotion simply because they believe they are superior to others.
These types of anger make people capable of inflicting physical and emotional pain on anyone. So how would you respond to an angry person?
This question is the reason for this article. Let me discuss the different ways towards handling angry people.
In dealing with angry people, you should…
Responding is not synonymous with reacting. Responding involves assessing the situation very carefully. This allows you to make an appropriate action. Reacting, on the other hand, does not involve thinking. So people who react to an angry person may end up in a worse situation.
2. Understand the cause of anger
People may be get angered for many reasons. It could be frustration or failure. Understanding the nature of anger helps you stay calm. And most importantly, you’ll understand why a person is angry with you. If you haven’t done wrong, you know that you are not the cause of someone’s anger.
When a person is angry with you, maintain your distance. Look at his/her eyes quietly. Listen to whatever s/he may say without reacting. Let him/her notice that you are listening. Do this until s/he calms down.
Anger is like a fire. As long as there’s fuel, it continues to burn. Your reaction can be a fuel. Being calm signals an angry person that you are not the threat. And because you are not giving fuel, the fire will gradually subside.
I hope this will help you in dealing with angry people.
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I’m a licensed psychometrician, author, and blogger. I’m currently working as a University instructor teaching psychology. I love writing and doing psychological research.