How to become a better person inside and out?
This is often a question out of personal realization. People who are on the journey of improving their personal qualities always want to find ways to become better.
However, the question is basically subjective in nature. This means that no two people have the same description of a “better person.” More often than not, we tend to consider how people see us as a person. Our action and perception are shaped by our external world.
But how can you become a better person inside out? Is it really attainable? Well, although, there is no single clear cut answer to this, I can give you a general idea of what it takes to become one.
The following steps, however, stem purely from my personal opinion and understanding on a personal development journey. I am not claiming to be an expert in this area. But I hope that at the end of this post, you will be able to see the significant points that I would like to convey.
So let’s dive in.
1. Become more aware of yourself
Learning to become a better person from inside and out requires internal assessment and consciousness of who you truly are. This involves understanding how you respond to challenges, manage your own emotion, and deal with people.
Your internal assessment of your inner world determines the degree of changes that you need to implement in yourself. You cannot make something better if you have no idea what is lacking or wrong.
2. Set goals
After having a truthful self-assessment, your next step is to make attainable goals for yourself. At this point, you are pointing on the direction you want to go. In the case of personal development, you need to know what type of person do you really want to become.
This involves asking so many questions such as: Do I want to be compassionate? Should I quit my unproductive habits in order to become a better person? Should I change the way I treat others’ opinion or understand others’ behavior towards me? Do I want to be a more religious person and serve the community I belong?
These questions may help you determine the path that you should take to achieve your goal of becoming a better person.
3. Find a role model
One of the hardest things to do is to change oneself. In fact, it is easier to say than done. Sometimes your biggest enemy is not the world that surrounds you but your own self.
The process of personal improvement is not a straight line. It will be a constant fight against inner voices. This is because more often than not, the journey to any kind of change is full of doubts and inner conflict.
It is often uncomfortable. As a result, your mind would tell you not to engage in such an undertaking. This is the reason why unproductive habits are hard to break. It requires commitment and a considerable amount of motivation.
During the process, it will be helpful if you can find someone to model from. Yes. A role model can help you throughout the journey. Most of the time a role model has a website or book that you can read and learn from.
You can find those people online. For example, you can read or watch videos of Brian Tracy, Tony Robbins, and many more. Take a look at those people’s journey to achieving a better version of themselves.
4. Develop self-compassion
Becoming a better person from inside and out requires self-compassion. You won’t make any progress if you hate or feel pity for yourself. Just forgive yourself for all the shortcomings that you might have committed. Accept the fact that you are not perfect.
Recognize your weaknesses as a person and realize that you are part of this imperfect world. Stop punishing and criticizing yourself. Develop self-compassion instead. Appreciate and be grateful for everything you have. Studies had found that the feeling of gratitude has a significant positive impact on well-being.
Smile to others and always appreciate the good things that happened in you. You might not recognize it but there are millions of positive things you receive or experience every day.
5. Learn to control your negative emotions
One of the biggest challenges or enemies is not the outer world but the inner negative emotions. Emotions such as anger and jealousy are some of the strongest forces that will hold you from seeing your true self.
To achieve a better version of yourself, you have to tame these negative emotions. Control anger and jealousy and do not allow yourself to be controlled by these emotions.
Anger and jealousy are threats to happiness. If you allow these emotions to linger in you, it will be hard for you to be happy. And if you are not happy, you journey to becoming a better person inside and out is in jeopardy.
Let go of the things that made you feel angry. And do not feel jealous of others. Remember that you also have what it takes to be successful. The only thing you need to focus on is your personal goal that you want to achieve.
Forgiveness is the key that will open up the new world for you. Forgiveness will free yourself from regrets you have for all the mistakes you made in the past.
6. Develop empathy
Empathy is the process of understanding others by putting yourself in others’ experience. The beauty of having the ability to walk in somebody’s shoes is that it will help you discover and understand others’ pain, fear, and broken dreams.
The whole process of developing empathy also widens your perspective on how people should be treated and not be judged quickly. Remember that your outer world is your mirror. What you don’t want to see in that mirror is what you don’t want experience in your own reality.
7. Give a hand to others
Studies show that a little help you give to others can entirely change your emotion. It will make you happy. This is the reason why many people donate a portion of their fortune to a charity they want to help.
Well, helping others does not always involve money. You can volunteer during your leisure time. Think of something that you can contribute to your community or to other people who are in need of your help.
Small help does not mean small impact. In fact, great things start very small. So consider helping others without expecting any return. In this way, you are also helping yourself to become a better person inside and out.
8. Follow what you love
Whatever you do, make sure that you love it. Successful people really love what they do. The journey to success in business or in personal development is painful and challenging. So if you don’t love what you do, you will quit sooner before even reaching half-way of your goal.
So before you start walking in the path towards your goal, ask yourself if you really want it. Do you really want to be a person you want to be? If you are not sure, then maybe you need time to think about it.
Many people do what others want them to do not what they really want to do. As a result, they don’t enjoy the process. And the worse thing is that they hardly succeeded in their goal. In fact, most people who are not passionate about what they do fail in their ultimate goal.
9. Develop self-control
Now that you already know your path to take, the ultimate skill you need to develop is self-control. Self-control is one if not the most important determinant of success. It keeps your life in balance.
There are millions of people who make new year’s resolution every year. But guess what, only a small percentage of those goals actually came true. The main reason is a lack of self-control.
People who want to lose weight, for instance, failed because they were not able to restrain themselves from eating fatty and sweet foods. As mentioned, your greatest enemy here is yourself. Oftentimes, your inner voice is stronger than your motive.
If you really want to develop a better version of yourself inside and out, you better have self-control. If not, you better forget your goal.
Personal development is a challenge. It is hard. Because if it is easy everybody will do it. I hope that after reading this post, you have figured it out. Of course, this article does not contain everything you need to achieve your goal of becoming a better person.
Nonetheless, the points that are previously discussed should give you a hint for what it takes to change oneself. Thanks for reading.
I’m a licensed psychometrician, author, and blogger. I’m currently working as a University instructor teaching psychology. I love writing and doing psychological research.