How to stop being obsessed with someone?
A relationship breakup is one of the most devastating and painful experiences a person can have. The deeper the previous relationship, and the bitter the breakup.
Letting go is the most difficult thing to do. This is because we tend to become accustomed to the moments associated with the previous relationship. In some instances, some people become obsessed with the person they love.
So, how to stop being obsessed with someone who chose to leave you?
The following techniques work for many people. They may work for you too.
1. Recognize and accept your feelings
It is hard and painful. No one will like it. But there is nothing you can do about it. You’re done with your relationship. The only thing that you can do now is to accept the pain and your current feeling.
Most people find it difficult to let someone from their lives is because they deny their true feelings. They repressed and hide the emotional pain. Unfortunately, self-denial will only make the pain even worse.
Acceptance of your inner turmoil may free you from your self-proclaimed cage. Face the reality and head up. It is not the end of everything.
2. Find support
Do not keep the pain inside. Share it with your friends or people who could understand your current situation. Or, seek counsel from relationship experts especially the therapists near you.
Strengthen your social connection. The pain will accumulate inside if you don’t share it. Be open to suggestions but keep your own logical thinking strong. Decide your recovery strategies.
3. Stop overthinking
One of the reasons why people find it hard or don’t know how to stop being obsessed with someone they previously fell in love with is that they tend to overthink. Most people think that a person who has left in the relationship will show up and want to be with them once again. Unfortunately, that is not the case.
So stop thinking that way. Accept the truth that your relationship is done. A relationship is a two-way process. In the absence of “give and take” the link breaks.
If a person really loves you, he/she is willing to spend time, love, and pretty much everything with you. And most importantly, that person seldom talks what he/she can do in your relationship but he/she shows it. That is a real love. It is more of actions than words.
4. Keep yourself distant
It is hard to forget someone you always see on a daily basis. It reminds you of your previous relationship. The healing process will be a lot easier if you don’t have any connection with that person.
There’s a saying that goes “out of sight, out of mind.” This might be a cliché. You may hear this a million times in your life. But there is a degree of truth in it. If you curtail any kind of contact with a person, you will gradually forget him (at least the painful experience).
Save yourself by keeping some distance from that person.
5. Keep your mind preoccupied
It is easy to forget things when you’re busy. The same principle works if you try to forget someone. If the thoughts associated with your previous relationships start to flood in, keep your mind busy with other significant things in your life.
Veer your focus on your work, study, and other important goals in your life. Do not let your daily routine be affected by what has happened. If you focus on the painful experience, the damage will only get bigger.
6. Befriend with time
Time is the ultimate healer. As time passes, the wound will eventually turn into a scar. The length of time you need in the healing process, however, may depend on the depth of the cut and the way you deal with it.
Some people are good at handling negative experiences. While others are not. Some are resilient, others are vulnerable. Nonetheless, time mediates the pacing. Sooner or later, you will forget.
Meditation can also be a great way to stop being obsessed with someone you had in a relationship with. It allows you to focus on your own inner world rather than allowing your mind to wander in a nightmare. By getting acquainted with yourself once again, you will be able to discover the great things in you worth loving. So meditate.
A prayer can be the ultimate way to go back to your normal life. Communicating with God helps you build a stronger version of yourself. With and prayer, you will recover faster. And the best part of it? You learn to forgive. Happiness and the real sense of “moving on” reside in forgiveness.
I hope that this simple tips on how to stop being obsessed with someone help you. The tips discussed above may not all work for you. But I hope that, after you read this post, you already have an idea of how to deal with your experience.
I’m a licensed psychometrician, author, and blogger. I’m currently working as a University instructor teaching psychology. I love writing and doing psychological research.