How to stop self-sabotaging behavior?
You may have set goals but failed along the way. You wonder why. The worse thing is that you repeat exactly what you have done and demand a positive result. Then you develop self-doubt.
Well, you are not alone. Millions of people are caught in this situation. Many people let their lives pivot at something over and over again. As a result, they never realize their real potentials.
Unfortunately, for most people, they regret what they continually do but do not find a way out. They stay in that painful situation for the rest of their lives.
If you are a person who has a great vision for your future, you need to get out of that cycle. Is there a door for a change? Of course, there is. You can change your life and design a new path.
But before you can do that, you need to understand why you should do it. Well, because doing the same unfruitful act over and over again without positive outcome is self-sabotaging.
What is self-sabotaging? Self-sabotaging is a tendency wherein an individual limits himself/herself from achieving a goal. This self-limiting behavior leads to internal conflict. An individual who has no idea about his true ability believes that he is not capable of pursuing his goal.
Self-sabotage will not only hinder you from achieving your goals in life but also lowers your self-esteem. This, in turn, makes you vulnerable to frustration.
How self-sabotaging behaviors develop? Basically, this pattern of behaviors emanates from a person’s poor personal upbringings such as low self-confidence, self-efficacy, self-worth, and self-esteem.
More often than not, people who have this pattern of behavior have difficulty in controlling their emotional state. Those people may be over-reactive to certain situations. As a result, they have poor ability to make a sensible decision in stressful situations.
People with self-sabotaging behavior pattern tend to doubt themselves when given a great responsibility. They are afraid of failing even before starting the task. This self-proclaimed fear hinder them from reaching their goal.
Whether you believe the idea about self-sabotaging or not, one thing is sure – self-sabotaging behavior affects our outcome at some point. How do you know that you are already consumed by your self-sabotaging behavior?
The Signs of Self-sabotaging Behaviors
You are sabotaging yourself if you:
- Easily surrender to your fear
- Doubting yourself in achieving a goal
- Afraid of committing mistakes
- Do not pay attention to directions
- Do not execute the plans legibly
- Accept others’ requests all the time
- Don’t consider the possible result of your actions
- Are careless when making crucial decisions
- Don’t analyze the problem carefully
- Worry all the time without formulating a solution
- Make vague goals that are impossible to meet
- Always compare yourself to others
- Heavily rely on luck
- Procrastinate all the time
- Let others decide for your life
- Have negative thinking pattern
People who have self-sabotaging behavior often doubt themselves and question their own ability to carry out the task. Lack of self-reliance keeps them failing all the time. If you are one of them, you better act now before totally wasting your life.
How to stop self-sabotaging behavior?
There are many ways you can do to change the way you look at life. Today, you will learn some simple yet effective techniques to change your behavior.
All you have to do is to follow some steps I listed below. This process will greatly impact your life forever. So let’s start…
1. Define your self-sabotaging behavior
You cannot solve a problem without understanding its nature. In this case, you need to identify your self-sabotaging behavior first before you can act.
Doing this involves conscious assessment of your actions, thinking pattern, and emotional state. Then the next thing you need to do is to determine what could possibly trigger your self-sabotaging behavior.
Eliminate whatever it is that elicits self-sabotaging. By doing that you will be able to take control of your actions and thoughts.
2. Reshape your self-sabotaging behavior
After defining the problem, it’s time to completely eliminate the inner conflict. In this process, you should be able to reshape your thinking pattern. Instead of dwelling in negativity, focus on your potential rather than on your weakness. This is how to stop self-sabotaging behavior.
3. Develop a set of positive behavior pattern
Developing an entirely new set of behavioral pattern involves a long process of practice. This is not easy at first but as you go along, you’ll find it easier than you think.
Developing a habit requires a consistent practice. A behavior that is continually done throughout a considerable amount of time becomes part of a daily routine. In other words, it will part of your habit.
Once you get accustomed to a new positive set of behaviors, your line of thinking and action will be totally different. And, little by little, you’ll notice a tremendous change in your life.
There you go. You have my three steps on how to stop self-sabotaging behavior. I hope these simple tips will help you change your life.
I’m a licensed psychometrician, author, and blogger. I’m currently working as a University instructor teaching psychology. I love writing and doing psychological research.