How to Win Friends and Influence Others

How to influence others?

How To Influence Others

To influence others is not easy especially in business or in winning social situation.

This is because human behavior is unpredictable.

Because humans have the capacity to think and criticize information, to influence others or perhaps changing other people’s thoughts can be the most difficult task.

Influence matters in gaining new friends.

Same is true in business where sales depend on persuasion strategies.

Therefore, the person who knows the power of influence will always win.

There are five different influence styles:

  • Assertion. Some people love to challenge others’ ideas by arguing theirs.
  • Persuasion. In this process, people tend to convince others by offering logical explanations of their beliefs and opinion.
  • Negotiation. This is a process of making a compromise in order to gain a win-win situation for both parties.
  • Connection. Here, you build a connection or bridge with the larger context through proper communication.
  • Inspiration. Sending an inspirational message is an effective technique to make others believe and make them feel that you are on the same page.

Although these styles are powerful, its effectiveness may depend on the context and situation.

One may work well in one place but may not on the other.

In this article let me discuss the influence techniques that you can use both in business and or in a social situation.

Here’s what you can do to enhance your ability to influence others.

1. Understand what influence style you are good at.

Before you start the process, you need to ask yourself what influence style you think you are comfortable with using.

Are you a person who asserts ideas?

Or, are you a person who love to convince others by providing rational arguments?

Whatever style you prefer, it is important that you really understand it first.

Once you are already sure what style you are comfortable with using, it’s time to start the process.

2. Pay attention to the results.

Even though you are sure what you are doing, people may react differently.

Remember that different people have a different way of assessing things.

Thus, it is important that you monitor the feedback.

If you sense a problem, then maybe you can shift to another style.

Flexibility is a key ingredient.

So be the one who can easily maneuver when things did not work as planned.

3. Improve.

We are living in a fast pacing world.

What is new today might be obsolete tomorrow.

In other words, there’s no constant.

This is the reason why you always need to improve your proficiency.

Find sources to attain this goal.

You can attend seminars or workshops.

Or, read as many books as you can in order to foster your knowledge.

4. Hone your ability.

The best way to improve yourself is through practicing what you already know.

Thus, practice is an essential part of any form of success.

Success in any field of life, in general, stems from hours and hours of honing one single act.


Because this is the way the human body works.

Repeated actions rewire our brain’s neurons to establish a better connection among them – and that connection is intended only for one single act that we practice over and over again.

To put it simply, the more we practice, the more our brain’s function become efficient, and the more the act becomes accurate.

Basketball players, boxers, baseball players, and others know this.

This is the reason why practice is very important.

The more you practice the better you become to influence others.

These four suggestions are significant to your success in gaining others’ trust.

The only question now is, how can we exactly influence others?

Without further ado, here are some of the powerful techniques.

Influence others by:

1. Knowing the problem/need of others.

The best way to influence others is through understanding what they need.


Because if there’s a problem especially when it’s big, people find solutions to that problem.

This is the time when every rational person may do some irrational decisions just to solve the problem.

And when they can’t find it, frustration will start to set in.

When you notice such situation, apply the second step.

2. Offering a solution.

It is proven that when you give something of value to others, people tend to respond positively.

In fact, people will obligate to return the favor.

In a more formal term, it is called reciprocity.

The good thing about this concept is that it works in all cultures across the globe.

Meaning, this behavioral tendency is pretty universal.

If you are looking for new acquaintances, this technique may be the best.

Solving other people’s problem will also reflect the positive side of you.

So people will consider you as approachable and caring.

They feel that you’re a person who is willing to sacrifice.

Such a trait is what most people want in their circle of friends.

3. Being sincere.

One important caveat here is that you need to honestly show your real interest.

Do not influence others just to ruin relationships.

Or, pretend that you are what they think you are.

Remember that no relationship lasts in dishonesty.

Either in social relations or in business, honesty remains the standard.

I hope you got the idea.

The whole process is not all about how to influence others unconscious mind.

But how to be responsible for your action.

If you are in business, you are responsible for your customers’ wellness.

And if you are in a normal social relationship, your responsibility is to take care of the relationship you have with others.

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