If you have a friend with so many insecurities, here’s what you can do.
Some people are insecure about their look, mental capability, and life status. Most of the time their insecurities led them to maladaptive practice such as hatred, social isolation, and self-pity.
Above all, these people don’t accept their own reality. They won’t listen to anyone. Thus, having them around can be difficult and challenging.
Can you fix an insecure person? Or, should you try to change him/her?
The answer to these questions is, no. You can’t change people even your loved ones. Except when they chose to. So what can you do?
Here’s what you can do:
Confronting an insecure person is futile. But instead of correcting her, you can listen to her sentiment. Do not judge. Make her feel that you are a trustworthy person. Let her talk. And if she wants your opinion, praise and remind her how amazing she is. Let her know that she is already beautiful. But do not argue with her.
A person who has insecurities tend to avoid social interaction due to her wrong belief about other people and herself. The feeling of inappropriateness is denser than rationality. But as a friend, you can always show concern. Let her feel that you are honest and won’t let her down.
Sometimes, all she needs is a person who can understand what she’s going through. And when she opens to you and share with you all her feelings and experiences, that’s the time that you can gradually inject your friendly advice. But be cautious. She might not be that ready to accept correction.
3. Don’t tell her she’s wrong.
Remember that an insecure person may not listen to other’s opinions. More so if you tell her that she has a faulty belief system. It only ignites more problems than peace. What you can do is engage with a communication. Let her know you’re interested in her stories and experiences.
There’s no stronger power than love. If you have enough love with an insecure person, it would be easy for you to take care of her. Help her find a therapist or other form of professional help if needed.
Discourage any motivation for taking drugs and other dangerous substances.
But don’t make yourself a caregiver. Don’t try to spend all of your time to mind her problems. You have your own personal life too. It is important that you know your boundaries and priorities. Fulfill your daily activities. You are a friend but you’re not a guardian.
I hope this will help.
I’d like to know what you’re thinking. Share your thoughts. Leave a comment below.
I’m a licensed psychometrician, author, and blogger. I’m currently working as a University instructor teaching psychology. I love writing and doing psychological research.