The Psychology of Manipulation: Knowing Yourself

Knowing yourself allows you to understand others more.

Knowing Yourself

Manipulation does not always mean negative. It does not always pertain to the process of deceiving others although it may mean the same thing sometimes.

But really, manipulation is a skill of predicting others’ behaviors. If you have this ability, you will have a better chance to succeed in any social situation.

But how can you manipulate people? Does anyone able to read what’s on anyone’s mind?

Well, there’s no magic for this. However, before you can tell what others’ might be thinking, you need to know yourself first.

Knowing yourself involves digging inside the very core of your being. Sometimes this is the hardest thing to do. The question “Who am I?” alone bothers most people and take them hours if not years of contemplation.

This only means that getting acquainted with our true “selves” is harder than knowing others. However, this does not mean that you can’t do it. It is hard but not impossible.

Is it necessary to revisit yourself? Yes. And it has several benefits:

  • If you know who you are, you will be happier. You will be confident in expressing your inner voice, and most likely achieve what you want in life.
  • If you know who you are, you will enjoy tranquillity in you. The inner calmness eliminates inner conflict.
  • If you know who you are, you will have better decisions in life. From small daily decisions to larger ones, you will be confident and effective.
  • If you know who you are, you will have better self-control. You barely get agitated and angry at any life situation. Your rationality is matured enough to know what is and what is not to be done.
  • If you know who you are, you will be able to say no and control social pressure. You will not easily be manipulated because you implement your own values and principles.
  • If you know who you are, you will be able to tolerate and understand others. Your personal experience is helpful to empathize other people.
  • If you know who you are, you will be more likely to gain pleasure and energy in everything you do. This positive feeling may then make you feel more successful, excited, and proud.

Knowing yourself better may involve knowing “The Building Blocks of Self” called “VITALS”.

V = Values

The things that you hold important or worthy of spending your time doing. It could be helping others, financial freedom, higher education, and health. These things that appeared to be important to you will motivate you to keep going.

I = Interest

Everything that draws your attention. It could be your passion, hobbies, or other things that you can sustain doing for a long period of time. To find your interest, you can ask yourself: What am I interested in? What concerns me the most? What drives my attention? These questions will help you discover your interest that you might not aware of.

T = Temperament

It is something that is embedded in you since birth. In most cases, temperament dictates your decisions and actions. You may find social interactions exciting and enjoyable. Or, maybe you are a person who loves being alone. Talking to people is a scary thing for you. Maybe you are a person who wants to lead. Or, maybe you are a person who wants to stay in the background and let others do the leadership. All of these characteristics are reflections of your temperament.

 A = Around-the-Clock Activities

This entails your biological rhythm. What time of the day do you prefer working? Knowing your most productive time of the day allows you to maximize your energy.

L = Life Goals and Meaning

What do you think your purpose? What is the meaning of your existence? The answer to these questions depends on each one of us. Many people go through their daily routines without knowing why they are doing it or where they are heading. Understanding your own goals and purpose is the key to knowing yourself better.

S = Strengths

This includes all your abilities, skills, and talents. It is something that you are good at doing. You may be good at interpersonal relationships or communications, leadership, teaching, etc. Your strength is your area of expertise. Whatever it is, the process will be so easy for you. What is your strength? Can you say it confidently?

Knowing yourself better is a key to understanding others. Remember that we operate and behave in the same world. Your behavior or reaction to any given situation may be the same with others. So if you understand yourself, it is likely that you can predict others’ behavioral tendencies in a given circumstance.

You will learn more about the importance of knowing yourself better in the next article. Stay tuned.

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