How to build a lasting relationship?
At the beginning, everyone wants to get involved in a relationship. But, after a trial, the previous perception is changed. Being in a relationship is not easy. Most people failed because they do not anticipate. They never expect the challenges that linger in their relationships.
The difficulty stems from the fact that two people were grown and raised differently. The couples were reared by different parents and different environments. That alone mold everyone uniquely.
Then the current technological trends added to the equation. Social media has become a powerful factor that makes people even busier. As a result, time, one of the most important ingredients of a successful relationship, becomes the subject of debate and misunderstanding.
So, with all these things that disturb your equilibrium, how can you develop a lasting relationship? Or, is it still possible?
Yes, you can maintain a healthy relationship and it’s still possible. You don’t have to be an extraordinary person to achieve it. You just need to keep a few things in your mind:
1. Know yourself
It may sound cliché to you, but, really, being acquainted with yourself once again is an important thing to do. Why? Because you cannot distinguish others if you have no idea who you are. Remember that you are a unique individual. If you don’t know your true “you”, you will not find the true “others”.
The problem of most people is that they embark on a relationship without exploring their own world. As a result, they failed. They failed because they have no idea how to deal with others. They persist their own way of viewing things and disregarding others’ view. That is not how a lasting relationship goes. A healthy relationship involves understanding. So you better know yourself first.
2. Be Thankful
One of the toxic human behaviors is discontentment. We tend to ask more without becoming satisfied. In a relationship, this behavior is destructive. Most couples have no idea that they have enough. They become busy of doing something to the point that they forget what they have. They forget to be grateful for having their partners.
Practicing gratitude does not require a considerable amount of time and effort. A simple “thanks” is enough. Whenever my wife gives something to me, even a glass of water, I never forget to say “thank you”. These two words are very powerful to make people feel that you value their effort no matter how small. Do the same to your loved one. Be thankful for everything good s/he does to you. Above all, be thankful for having him/her in your life.
3. Fill your mind with positive mindset
Another destructing force in a relationship is negativity. If you want to build a lasting relationship, you need to fill yourself with a positive mindset. This is one way of surviving the challenges you encounter along the way.
Couples who live in negativity find it hard to survive during difficult times in their relationship. Because they don’t believe they can handle things, they hardly stand still when challenges arrive.
If you want your relationship last long, minimize or kick out negative thoughts. Find motivational materials which can motivate you. Watch inspirational videos that could help you build a positive mindset.
Take care of your mind first before minding material things. The mind is your best resource or the worst enemy. Every decision you make on your relationship depends on what you cultivate in your mind. Either you keep positivity or negativity, there will be results. That results will manifest in your decision and action.
Refine your mind. Build a positive mindset. If you can make it a habit, go on. Be positive all the time.
4. Love yourself
Like knowing yourself, loving yourself is essential to building a lasting relationship. No one loves you if you don’t love yourself first. The biggest mistakes people have done in their lives is that they always love people without loving themselves. As a result, they do what makes other people happy even doing those things are not rewarding for them in the first place.
However, making other people happy will not make you an interesting person. It actually makes you a boring one. People will exploit you, not love you. At the end, you wonder why the world does not care about you. Well, the problem is not in the world, it is in you. You don’t love yourself, you abandon “it”. The world only responds according to your own act.
If you want someone loves you, plant love in yourself first. You’ll notice that people will start responding to you in a positive way.
If you are in a relationship right now and experiencing difficulties, take a look at these tips. Maybe something is missing. What is it? Find and fix it. Life is worth living if you live in a healthy union – a lasting relationship.
I’m a licensed psychometrician, author, and blogger. I’m currently working as a University instructor teaching psychology. I love writing and doing psychological research.