Why many people are less committed to a relationship?
Early life experiences play an important role in one’s personality development. These experiences involve parenting styles. And parenting styles shape how a person deals with an intimate relationship beyond childhood.
Thus, the success of any intimate relationship may be dependent on couples’ early life experiences.
For instance, one study found that people who won’t commit to a relationship were raised by either intrusive or unresponsive parents.
Over the years, research findings on parenting yielded a consistent result. That is, too much or little parental attention during infancy result in two extreme relational tendencies in later life.
If a person is raised by intrusive parents, he/she may find difficulty in relating to others. The reason being is that too much parental attention may lead children to be heavily dependent on their parents.
As a result, a child who is given too much care by his/her parents may become dependent on others for the rest of his/her life.
Unfortunately, too much dependency on others does not work in a relationship. Most people who were raised by this parenting would be less committed to a relationship.
The same is true with those who were raised by parents who have little attention to their children. Negligible parents show unresponsiveness on their children’s demands and needs.
In addition, unresponsive parents are emotionally distant from their children.
In both cases, children who raised by over-intrusive and/or negligent parents may develop avoidant behavior.
The leading author of the study, Dr. Sharon Dekel said that “Avoidant individuals are looking for somebody to validate them, accept them as they are, can consistently meet their needs and remain calm – including not making a fuss anything or getting caught up in their own personal issues.”
Being avoidant may lead people less committed to a relationship. They are not looking for someone who will love them but rather someone who possess a parental figure.
The authors concluded:
“Avoidant individuals seem to need psychological nourishment from their partners as much as infants do, resembling an early developmental stage of relatedness. Like the mother, the partner serves to validate the avoidant individual’s self.”
I’m a licensed psychometrician, author, and blogger. I’m currently working as a University instructor teaching psychology. I love writing and doing psychological research.