Relationship success tips.
Is your relationship healthy?
This is the biggest question for some couple.
Sometimes, the word “forever” is hard to find in a relationship.
Among millions of people who entered into marriage every year, only a few have been able to sustain healthy relationships.
In fact, the recent statistics on marriage suggests that divorce is in its increasing trend.
In the 45 states in the U.S. alone recorded 813,862 divorce incidents.
It seems that wedding becomes a mere ordinary rite not a solemn vow anymore.
However, some couples managed to sustain their relationships.
But these couples are not perfect people.
Like anybody else, they too have committed mistakes.
They have misunderstandings along the way.
But what separates them from those separated ones?
Below are some of the vital characteristics of a healthy couple.
The keys to a long-term relationship success
To achieve long-term relationships, you have to…
1. Trust Your Partner.
Trust is a foundation for a successful relationship.
But you can only build trust if you free your mind from distractions.
The world offers so many things that can ruin your focus.
Others call it evil, I call it a distraction.
But whatever you call it, it can bring conflict in your relationship.
Distraction comes in many forms.
It could be women or men, alcohol or drugs.
Thus, you must be honest with yourself.
Show to your partner that you are the right person as s/he thought you are.
And show to him/her that s/he can count on you.
2. Establish intimacy.
Intimacy is a big factor in relationship success.
It operates in all successful marriages across many cultures around the globe.
But you can only say that you and your partner enjoy intimacy if you have a physical connection.
Are you still interested in touching your partner?
Do you miss him/her if not around?
If you do, you still have a physical intimate connection.
Secondly, an intimate relationship requires emotional bonding.
If you have intimacy, you will be able to share with your partner your feelings – all the frustrations, setbacks or happiness to him/her without reservation.
On the other hand, if you don’t trust your partner, you won’t be able to communicate your feelings.
Third, an intimate relationship requires an intellectual connection.
You’ve got to communicate your ideas and aspirations in life no matter how insignificant they may seem.
The couples who enjoy a healthy intimate relationship are not afraid of sharing what’s in their minds.
They love to be corrected and to correct.
After all, they are partners.
They plan, fail, and succeed together.
The beauty of being open to each other is that it creates more trust in the relationship.
Finally, an intimate relationship requires shared physical activities.
Successful couples help each other with daily chores.
They make things happen together.
And they are happy doing so.
They love to be each other and accomplish things together.
This does not mean big activities.
It could be mowing a loan, shopping, or making the laundry done during weekends.
These simple activities are perfect opportunities for the couples to talk to each other.
Share big ideas or crack some jokes.
Funny or not, such communication strengthens the bond.
3. Bring the best of you.
As discussed above, successful relationships are not perfect.
Successful couples are not free from any flaws.
But what makes them successful is their natural character of doing their best for the relationship.
You don’t have to be a superhero to be the best.
To be the best, you just need to bring yourself naturally.
Just do the right thing for your partner.
Do not do fancy things just to impress him/her.
Just give your best and you’ll be alright.
Your partner will recognize what you are doing.
And at the end of the day, s/he will give you credit for that.
4. Establish healthy communication.
A relationship is a communication process.
Thus, in order for a relationship to thrive, you’ve got to establish a healthy communication.
Unfortunately, not all talking is healthy communication.
Healthy communication involves choosing the right words to say.
And of course, you also need to be mindful of the tone of your voice.
Do not assume that your partner will always be passive.
Sometimes our mood may fluctuate.
In fact, some words may sound funny to us, but sometimes they aren’t.
To avoid conflict, always size up your partner’s emotional state.
And most importantly, always respect your partner’s ideas or opinion.
Respect is the only fundamental of lasting peace in a relationship.
The couples who show respect to each other are most likely to yield relationship success.
5. Deal with Conflict effectively.
A relationship success depends on how you and your partner handle conflict.
The couples who start shouting at each other when there’s a problem will not stay long in their relationship.
Of course, we will be frustrated if a problem comes our way.
But there’s a better way to resolve it.
In the face of challenging time, you’ve got to control all your emotional impulsiveness.
It is likely that you will be carried out by your emotion.
But as long as you can, hold yourself.
Control your feelings.
Because during the conflict, it is easy to say anything.
It is easy to blame others or your partner.
But this does not solve the problem.
It only helps to make things even worse.
You need to come down.
Especially if your partner is already at a boiling point.
Make yourself a cooling instrument.
Do not try to respond with anger.
Because anger will not defeat another anger.
It only adds to already raging fire.
Be silent if silence can bring the argument down.
And, when everything returns to its normal state, gradually state your logical point.
Bring the issue to the table and focus your discussion on the issue alone.
Successful couples learn to solve the problem constructively and go on without bringing the pain.
They just let go the experience and forget.
6. Resolve external conflict together.
Successful relationships are constantly tested by time.
Along the way, as a couple, you will find conflict not between the two of you but from the external context.
It could be a relationship issue with your common friends, neighbors, or in the workplace.
The strength of your relationship will be tested.
Are you a couple who fight adversities together?
Or, are you a couple who blame each other?
Your answer to each of these questions determines your way of resolving a problem.
Relationship success relies upon the two of you.
Remember that you are a couple.
Therefore, you are stronger when you fight together.
Successful couples become stronger when hard times come.
7. Have the same financial values.
Money can cause a lot of trouble in a relationship if you let it.
In fact, it is one of the most common reasons of conflict.
But successful couples do not fight because of money.
Because they have the same level of thinking when it comes to financial values.
They don’t consider money as above on their relationship.
Money for them is just a mechanism that allows them to survive every day.
They talk money but never argue with one another because of it.
Instead, they settle financial issues peacefully.
Therefore, money should not be the center of your relationship.
It must be love and the longing to be each other.
8. Be mindful.
You should be mindful in all of your words and actions.
Human behavior is unpredictable, sometimes, out of our impulsivity, we say or do things that can potentially hurt our loved one.
So before making any action, think about it several times.
Be mindful of yourself.
Mindfulness allows you to make a clear and appropriate assessment of yourself.
Be aware that you are not alone in a relationship.
You are partners.
So you better consider both feelings.
9. Refresh your commitment every day.
The problem of most couples is that they tend to be very busy with their daily activities.
No enough time to talk to their partner.
They eat their meals and sleep separately.
There’s a gap in the communication process.
As a result, their relationship suffers.
Successful people renew their commitment to their partner every day.
They refresh those wonderful moments during courtship.
They continuously make their partner aware of their unchanged feeling.
So every day, they feel excited to see and be with each other.
10. Be playful.
Successful relationships involve playfulness.
This does not mean however that you deceive your partner (the negative connotation of the word).
Instead, successful couples tease each other.
Crack sweet jokes.
11. Work together for your relationship.
Relationship success requires hard work.
And work is not a one-way process.
Both of you must participate.
In other words, you have an equal responsibility to take care of your relationship.
12. Determine your priority.
Life offers a bunch of choices.
You have to make decisions.
And through this process, you need to choose one thing over the other.
Sometimes, you have to weigh the choices.
Will you choose your partner over your work?
This may not be easy.
But you have to decide.
The keyword here is “balance”.
This means that even if you’re busy, you have to find time to spend with your partner.
In a relationship, time is a vital ingredient.
So you better know your priority.
13. Resolve the conflict immediately.
When there is conflict, make it resolved before you lay in bed.
Talk about it calmly without engaging in a heated conversation.
Remain cool as you discuss the problem.
Listen to your partner carefully when s/he speaks.
Attentive listening signals respect and interest.
14. Always show your affection.
Love is the foundation of any successful relationship.
But love, according to some fades as the years goes by.
This is both scary and challenging to relationships.
However, relationship success is a product of everlasting love.
But the real challenge is how you show to your partner that you love him/her.
This will lead us to the following tip.
15. Tell your partner that you love him/her.
One way of showing affection is by telling your partner you love them.
But of course, not all “I love you” bears the truth.
Thus, you must be honest with yourself. Don’t lie.
Don’t ever think that your partner will not know your dishonesty.
Maybe you can deceive them but you can’t fool them forever.
So, you better be honest in your words.
16. Appreciate your partner.
Appreciation is an important part of a successful relationship.
And you can do this every little thing your partner does.
Appreciate him/her when s/he cooks your meal and everything in between.
This will help boost intimacy and happiness in your companionship.
Because appreciation is more than giving compliments – it is a process of showing your partner that you care about everything they do.
17. Share yourself.
As a couple, you share everything that you have.
But sharing is beyond physical dimension.
In most cases, time is a precious thing that you want to share with.
This is not easy though.
The inability to divide time according to your priority will cause conflict in the relationship.
Most broken relationships stem from having not enough time together.
So you’ve got to make sure you find time for your loved one.
18. Make some privacy.
Private moments are important in a relationship.
Even after having kids, you still need to have private moments together.
This is an important part of intimacy.
Needless to say, that intimacy is what makes relationship success.
19. Treat each other equally.
The main reason for relationship success is respect.
It is also the foundation of equality.
In order for your relationship to thrive, there must be equal treatment between both parties.
20. Establish friendship in your relationship.
Successful couples are like friends.
Their role in a relationship is multiple.
This is because they treat their partner well not just an intimate partner but also a business partner, co-caregiver of their offspring, and as a friend.
21. Focus on positive things.
Successful couples are not free from problems.
They too have challenging times on their journey.
But the good thing about them is that they focus on the positive side of every circumstance.
They don’t spend time blaming each other or crying over the spilled milk.
Instead, they accept their shortcoming, learn from it and laugh.
22. Never forget your promise.
Do you still remember your promises during courtship?
Have you made them real?
In a relationship, it is important to keep all your promises.
This will also show your honesty and dependability.
Ultimately, it will show to your partner that you are a person of principle.
I’m a licensed psychometrician, author, and blogger. I’m currently working as a University instructor teaching psychology. I love writing and doing psychological research.