When do you know that your relationship is not working anymore?
Nothing is perfect. This includes all types of relationships. Some may argue with this. But the truth is, no matter how deep the foundation, no one really knows what happens as couples go their way.
Like in business, a relationship operates in a roller coaster paradigm – there’s always ups and downs. There will be good times on one side and bad times on the other side. Both are important elements of a healthy relationship.
However, some relationships experience more setbacks than success. The relationship becomes a burden not the source of happiness. The problem is that deciding when to terminate a toxic relationship is always difficult. There will be doubts about whether or not you are making the right decision.
Before deciding your relationship, you need to assess whether the following points are still present:
Needless to say, the passion is one of the most important components of a successful relationship. Do you still feel excitement when you are near to each other? Are you excited to see him/her when you get home from work? These questions are vital in assessing your feelings. If your answer is no to these questions, then, maybe, you are not passionate about your partner anymore. The next thing you need to do is decide whether you want to confine yourself in that world. If not, it’s time to come up with a decision. Leave or stay?
2. Sense of responsibility
Obviously, being in a relationship is not all about happiness. Responsibility is important to make a relationship lasts. This is not a one-party effort. Both must perform the respective job. If one party is irresponsible, the relationship is facing a big trouble. Problems such as mismanagement of finances may arise. This is one indication that you have a problematic relationship. The next thing you need to do is examine yourself whether or not the problem emanates from you. If it is, then find ways to change yourself. If not, then your partner must be the source of the problem. Ask yourself, “Am I going to stay in this toxic relationship?” Make a choice.
The relationship is a journey. And the success of that journey is determined by the cooperative effort of the two parties. Life can be hard. But it will be easier if the support system is present. Couples who are successful in their relationships support each other. No turning down. Instead, they always make sure that no one is left behind. Without support, any relationship will not grow. If this component is missing, it may be the time to decide the fate of your union.
4. Shared values and interests
Another important component of a relationship’s success is the sharing of interests between couples. Sharing values enhances communication and passion. If there’s no communication between the two parties, there will be a problem. If you experience communication gap in your relationship, it is important to assess what causes the gap.
If your assessment convinces you that you no longer need such relationship, that you can’t deal with the pain anymore, then make a final decision. But it will not be easy though. It will be more painful than you think. Consider different ways to lessen the pain. You can try the following:
- Cutting-off the communication after break-up
- Sharing the pain with your friends and family
- Engaging in social activities like volunteering social works
During this process, it is important to prevail your mind’s will not your heart. The heart is irrational sometimes. So always follow what is right not what will make you feel good. Of course, it will be painful. But the pain is temporary. Deal with it and meet another opportunity to be happier once again.
I’m a licensed psychometrician, author, and blogger. I’m currently working as a University instructor teaching psychology. I love writing and doing psychological research.