Why does a narcissist want to hurt you in a relationship?
There are several reasons why a person with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder hurt someone they know or love. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you may be in a dangerous situation. It is most likely that you will get emotionally hurt. But why?
As mentioned, there are a handful of reasons why a narcissist hurt someone close to her. In this post, you will learn the factors that trigger aggressive behavior of narcissists.
But before discussing why narcissists want to hurt their loved ones, let’s talk about some of the characteristics of narcissists.
1. Narcissists have unstable self-esteem
Narcissists tend to maintain their high sense of self-esteem. But they don’t want to see others achieving higher success than they do. The success of others threatens their self-esteem. As a result, instead of becoming proud of their friends’ achievements, for instance, they are emotionally affected.
Because no one should be better and above them, narcissists tend to do things to sabotage others’ achievements.
2. Always demand compliments from others
Narcissists want positive impressions from others. They hate criticisms. They want you to impress what they do. Any negative comments for them hurt their emotional state.
This characteristic of a narcissist does not work in a relationship. If you truly love a person, you will openly make suggestions or honest corrections that directly pertain to the negative act to correct the person’s behavior. But with a narcissist, you cannot do that. He/she will hurt you if you go against his/her will.
3. Narcissists have no sense of object constancy
These people cannot stay in a relationship when their partner does something that threatens their self-esteem. If they get frustrated, hurt, angry, and disappointed by their partner, they are more than ready to end the relationship.
4. Narcissists have no sense of empathy
Narcissists are a good pretender. They make you believe that they love and care about you. But their feelings are actually pointing the opposite direction. The reality is that they don’t really feel what you feel and they don’t even care. But because they are very good at hiding their indifference, you may believe that they are concern about you.
Why does narcissist want to hurt you?
Narcissists may not always want to hurt their loved ones as psychopaths do. Instead, their unstable emotional state, as well as their extreme care for their self-esteem, trigger aggressiveness when their flaws are exposed. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you must be very careful not to cross the line.
Narcissists often blame others when in an undesirable situation. They don’t take responsibility for the faulty decision you have committed together. For a narcissist, the person that needed to be punished is you. The blame is on you and you alone.
The worse part about having narcissists in relationships is that they don’t feel bad whenever they hurt their partner. Therefore, every action they do are right and justified.
I’m a licensed psychometrician, author, and blogger. I’m currently working as a University instructor teaching psychology. I love writing and doing psychological research.